Imagining life for your children without you can stir deep emotions. But taking this step is one of the most loving acts of stewardship you can offer your family—clear, prayerful guidance that protects your children and honors your wishes.
“Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found faithful.” — 1 Corinthians 4:2
Why this matters:
If you don’t legally nominate a guardian, a judge who has never met your family will decide who raises your children. That choice might not reflect your values, your hopes, or your children’s needs. It can also spark painful family conflict—and in rare cases, if no one is able or willing to step in, children may enter foster care. Naming a guardian (and at least one backup) gives your children the best chance to be cared for by someone you trust if the unthinkable happens.
How to choose a guardian:
No one will ever be you. Yet there is likely someone who can love your children well and provide stability if needed. As you pray and consider, look at:
- Relationship and rapport: Do your children know and enjoy this person? Is there trust and warmth?
- Values and lifestyle: Are their parenting style, morals, faith, education, and health practices aligned with yours?
- Location and stability: Would your children have to move schools or communities? Would the guardian consider relocating if that’s your preference?
- Age and health: Do they have the energy and longevity to see your children through to adulthood?
- Capacity and willingness: Are they emotionally prepared? Do they have space— practically and financially—for your children?
- Season of life: Are they launching a career, raising their own little ones, or caring for aging parents?
Important: Serving as guardian is a sacred and significant commitment. Talk to your top choices in advance, confirm their willingness, and name at least one backup in case your first choice cannot serve.
Who should manage the money?
Providing financially for your children is an act of love—and so is choosing who stewards those funds.
- Separate roles (recommended for many families): Name one person to raise the children (guardian) and another to manage their inheritance (trustee). This creates healthy checks and balances; the guardian requests funds for your children’s needs, and the trustee approves expenses according to your instructions.
- Same person for both roles: This can simplify decision-making, but it requires deep trust and proven judgment. If you choose this route, be confident they have the time, integrity, and skills to handle both responsibilities well.
- Consider a trust: A revocable living trust or testamentary trust can direct how money is used for education, healthcare, faith activities, and everyday life, and at what ages funds are distributed.
Make it official—steps to take now
- Create or update your will to name a guardian and at least one backup for each child.
- Establish a trust and appoint a trustee; give clear guidance for how funds can be used.
- Align your beneficiary designations (life insurance, retirement accounts) with your plan —often to the trust, not directly to a minor.
- Talk with your chosen guardian(s) and trustee about your wishes.
- Write a letter of intent with important details: routines, doctors, school info, church involvement, and family traditions.
- Store documents securely and tell trusted people where to find them.
- Review your plan every one to three years, or after major life changes.
We’re here to help
Guardianship is a tender topic, but walking through it now brings peace later. You can revise your choices as life changes. If you’re ready to put loving protections in place—or simply want a trusted guide to walk with you—let’s start the conversation. With wisdom, prayer, and a clear plan, you can care for your children today and whatever tomorrow may bring.